Yesterday was the end of an era for me. It was Christmas, true, but the day held more in store for me than merely celebrating Jesus' birth. That, in and of itself, is of great joy for believers. I am not too vain to admit that I am a believer. However, of great importance to me was the fact that I admitted to being needy.
I need many things. I am not rich nor poor, just vaugly inbetween. It is the riches of good health, motivation, excitement, purpose, and being needed for my talents, for which I hunger. Yes, my husband loves and needs me. When in my care, my niece loves and needs me. My sister who is my employer loves and needs me. Plus, several family members and friends love and need me.
Still, I find a hole within me that needs filling. But I am picky: I don't want just anything to fill me. I want to dabble in outside interests - I want to create important entities. However, I still want to feel free to slip back into my shell at any given point, without upsetting whatever wheels I may have put into motion. I fear it is not that easy.
You see, I realized a few years ago that I get all excited about an idea, go full force to implement it, and then my excitement wanes. I lose interest and walk away. I start projects, like knitting, that I never finish. I wish to reverse my past behavior and continue on with some of the worthwhile ideas I have.
Do you know how I feel? Can you help me? Do you have any suggestions? Please reply!
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean about starting something and never finishing it. My grammy showed me how to crochet, so I made two incomplete baby blankets. Sometimes I revisit them and keep going and going, soon enough it will be more of a tent than a blanket! Then I took piano lessons in high school and wasn't that bad. But I never kept up with practicing and now I don't remember how to play! And two days ago I started a puppy chia pet and quickly announced I was going to toss it in the trash when the seedlings started to sprout and they resembled white worms instead of green growth. My husband is making me stick it out until it grows green and lush. Maybe that’s one thing I will actually have completed!
Lisa, I am so proud of you...what a surprise! I suspect that you will develop a loyal following of blog readers over time. I do value and appreciate your assistance in the office. Because you are a loyal and dedicated employee I have been given the valuable gift of time. Even though most of that time is spent running errands for the business, I enjoy the freedom I feel when I leave the office with my list in hand. Keep writing...it is what makes you YOU!
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