In Your Hands

I am torn:
each direction calls my name
and if I chose one or the other, or none,
am I to blame?

I am wondering:
in a world where parents'
pay out-the-nose to see their kids' succeed,
if my past alliances failed to swing open the door to my future,
does that mean I have been cemented for not pursing doors myself?

Even if I have not cemented like a statue,
can I whip-up the energy and piece of mind to excel?
To go places, see things, and challenge myself to live out some dreams?

Can I push the buttons of complacency and go to a fantasy place?
A place with no time ticking, no misguided results, only calm.
If my response is negative, am I a slacker, a settler?

At times my spirit is willing
tho' more often my body is weak.
Am I to start and gain momentum, consistently,
only to fizzle, crash, and burn on some mountainside?

In Your hands I place my contemplations,
knowing You alone have charted my course
and You have free rein to solidify it, or alter it,
to meet Your ultimate plan. It is all in Your hands!

I will do my best to ask,
I will do my best to seek,
I will do my best to accept Your answer,
for it is in You that I was once lost, but now am found.

It is in You who keeps me grounded
tho' I am happily heaven-bound.