DO NOT STRESS OVER
WHAT YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS.
RELAX, AND BELIEVE IN THIS:
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Pack..Bring..Take..Remove
...Pack away the witches and the ghost mask...
...Pack away the pumpkins and hay stacks...
...Pack away the Halloween candy, out of sight...
...Pack away the fleeting Halloween delight.
...Bring out a cornucopia I made by hand...
...Bring out a thankfulness for family and land...
...Bring out the turkey and all the fixings, too...
...Bring the family to eat and men fall asleep.....
...like they usually do.
...Take out Christmas decorations one by one...
...Take out ornaments made by daughter and son...
...Take out the tree, the stockings, and presents...
...Take out the nativity and keep Jesus present.
...Remove the tree now shedding and dusty...
...Remove the fruitcake and dried and crusty...
...Remove the cards taped to the door frame...
...Remove the hoopla, but keep Jesus name.
BARE LEAVES & GLOWING TREE
Thanks to pine and spruce trees
we still have color in our landscape.
If I ran after the blowing leaves
I could stick them back on trees with tape!
Somehow that just isn't the same -
Oh! It's a shame when the trees are bare,
When you look for color outside
and through trees like they're not even there!
My only consolation in my misery
is that right around the corner I will see
standing in the corner where the recliner used to be...
...my super, duper, decorated and glowing
CHRISTMAS TREE!!!
Helpful Holiday Hints
Gifts for Men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #7:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #8:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #9:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! thanks.")
Rule #10:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #11:
Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #12:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #13:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
Rule #14:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #7:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #8:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #9:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! thanks.")
Rule #10:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #11:
Tickets to a Cowboys game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #12:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #13:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
Rule #14:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Soldier's & Veteran's Salute!
Snack Lunches
I put my carry-on in the
luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat.
It was going to be a long flight.
'I'm glad I have a good book to read.
Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought.
Just before take-off,
a line of soldiers came down the aisle and
filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me.
Just before take-off,
a line of soldiers came down the aisle and
filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me.
I decided to start a conversation.
'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
'Petawawa. We'll be there for two
weeks for special training, and then we're being
deployed to Afghanistan.'
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was
made that sack lunches were available for five dollars.
'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.
'Petawawa. We'll be there for two
weeks for special training, and then we're being
deployed to Afghanistan.'
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was
made that sack lunches were available for five dollars.
It would be several hours before we
reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch
would help pass the time...
As I reached for my
wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if
he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems
like a lot of money for just a sack lunch.
Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks.
I'll wait till we get to base.'
His friend agreed.
I looked around at the other soldiers.
reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch
would help pass the time...
As I reached for my
wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if
he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems
like a lot of money for just a sack lunch.
Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks.
I'll wait till we get to base.'
His friend agreed.
I looked around at the other soldiers.
None were buying lunch.
I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight
attendant a fifty dollar bill.
attendant a fifty dollar bill.
'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.'
She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly.
Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me.
'My son was a soldier in Iraq;
it's almost like you are doing it for him.'
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the
soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and
asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?'
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the
soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and
asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?'
'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked.
She turned and went to
the front of plane, returning a minute later
with a dinner plate from first class.
'This is your thanks.'
After we finished eating,
the front of plane, returning a minute later
with a dinner plate from first class.
'This is your thanks.'
After we finished eating,
I went again to the back of the plane,
heading for the rest room.
A man stopped me.
heading for the rest room.
A man stopped me.
'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it.
Here, take this.' He handed me
twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned
to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down
the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he
walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but
noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my
side of the plane.
twenty-five dollars.
Soon after I returned
to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down
the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he
walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but
noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my
side of the plane.
When he got to my row he
stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, 'I
want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my
seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand.
With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier
and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought
me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never
forgot.'
stopped, smiled, held out his hand and said, 'I
want to shake your hand.' Quickly unfastening my
seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand.
With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier
and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought
me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never
forgot.'
I was embarrassed when applause was
heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the
front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A
man who was seated about six rows in front of me
reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He
left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
When we landed I
gathered my belongings and started to deplane.
Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man
who stopped me, put something in my shirt
pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a
word. Another twenty-five dollars!
Upon entering the terminal,
heard from all of the passengers.
Later I walked to the
front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A
man who was seated about six rows in front of me
reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He
left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
When we landed I
gathered my belongings and started to deplane.
Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man
who stopped me, put something in my shirt
pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a
word. Another twenty-five dollars!
Upon entering the terminal,
I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base.
I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars.
'It will take you some time to reach the base.
It will be about time for a sandwich.
It will be about time for a sandwich.
God Bless You.'
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and
respect of their fellow travelers.
As I walked briskly to my car,
I whispered a prayer for their safe return.
These soldiers were giving their all for our country.
I could only give them a couple of
meals. It seemed so little...
A veteran is someone
who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'The United States of
America ' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life.'
That is Honor, and
there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'
meals. It seemed so little...
A veteran is someone
who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank
check made payable to 'The United States of
America ' for an amount of 'up to and
including my life.'
That is Honor, and
there are way too many people in this country
who no longer understand it.'
Author Unknown by Me
(not written by me)
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Songs of Two Kinds
...it's a hard-boiled life I'm livin', down here in this forgotten gutter,
no love nor laughter warm me, just hatred as I curse all that I don't have...
It's a blues song,
that I imagine women and men
of questionable character cry
as they work and lament
over the life they find themselves in
at the moment the lyrics leave their mouths.
Not just in 'a time such as this'
but since we ate off the apple tree.
It's a sad song,
one I imagine a misunderstood soul weeps
as they sit, blank faced, tears a'pourin' down
a sunken lo face,
debating the device
that will aid in cancelling out
their misery, for a moment,
or for eternity.
Be it a skyscraper, a jagged glass,
poison drugs, a loaded gun or
noose dangling from a tree.
It's a song of the heart
that weeps and wonders
if anyone is listening,
if anyone cares,
if anyone weeps along with them...
AAAHHH! The cry of anguish
of a soul dead to the world of light,
whose only friend is the dark cover of night.
I know One who loves you, I boldly say.
I know One who will lighten the load,
remove the device to slay,
and weeps and wonders with you
not just at this moment, but since
your life began, and was planned
and sits in the gutter invisible beside you.
I used to sing a song of desperation.
Sometimes the lyrics still prick my mind
and trick me into thinking I'm still back there,
still lowly, forgotten, and unloved.
But then the warmth of His arm around my shoulder,
His right hand holding mine,
His song of redemption and rebirth
jump-start my quickening heart
and my soul and His promise
sing a new song, combined...
...Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found,
was blind, but now I see...
Come on, sing this new song with me!
And when you truly believe in Jesus
and the price He paid on Calvary,
you will join all believers
who leave the devil behind in the lowly gutter
to life a new life in His Kingdom Come,
with the promise of seeing His face
in Heaven
and living in love and peace for eternity.
Come on, sing this new song with me,
and if we slip and forget the words,
come relearn them
conducted by the Trinity.
AMAZING GRACE!
AMAZING GRACE!
no love nor laughter warm me, just hatred as I curse all that I don't have...
It's a blues song,
that I imagine women and men
of questionable character cry
as they work and lament
over the life they find themselves in
at the moment the lyrics leave their mouths.
Not just in 'a time such as this'
but since we ate off the apple tree.
It's a sad song,
one I imagine a misunderstood soul weeps
as they sit, blank faced, tears a'pourin' down
a sunken lo face,
debating the device
that will aid in cancelling out
their misery, for a moment,
or for eternity.
Be it a skyscraper, a jagged glass,
poison drugs, a loaded gun or
noose dangling from a tree.
It's a song of the heart
that weeps and wonders
if anyone is listening,
if anyone cares,
if anyone weeps along with them...
AAAHHH! The cry of anguish
of a soul dead to the world of light,
whose only friend is the dark cover of night.
I know One who loves you, I boldly say.
I know One who will lighten the load,
remove the device to slay,
and weeps and wonders with you
not just at this moment, but since
your life began, and was planned
and sits in the gutter invisible beside you.
I used to sing a song of desperation.
Sometimes the lyrics still prick my mind
and trick me into thinking I'm still back there,
still lowly, forgotten, and unloved.
But then the warmth of His arm around my shoulder,
His right hand holding mine,
His song of redemption and rebirth
jump-start my quickening heart
and my soul and His promise
sing a new song, combined...
...Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found,
was blind, but now I see...
Come on, sing this new song with me!
And when you truly believe in Jesus
and the price He paid on Calvary,
you will join all believers
who leave the devil behind in the lowly gutter
to life a new life in His Kingdom Come,
with the promise of seeing His face
in Heaven
and living in love and peace for eternity.
Come on, sing this new song with me,
and if we slip and forget the words,
come relearn them
conducted by the Trinity.
AMAZING GRACE!
AMAZING GRACE!
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